1)
It's not my (pot, beer, cigarettes,
etc.), I'm just keeping it for someone
else.
Yeah right.
The next question for the parent to ask
is, "If you are keeping this for your
friend, what is your friend keeping for
you?" One of the reasons parents can get
fooled here is that you so desperately
want to believe that it is not
theirs and they are not doing drugs.
It's important to remember that this is
something your teen might be counting
on.
2)
When caught with drugs - This is just
the first time I've tried it.
Unlikely.
Usually when kids get caught with and/or
using some drugs, they have been doing
it awhile. They have simply slipped up,
gotten caught, and are trying to find a
quick way out of it.
3) We
don' have homework in that class
Sometimes
this is true. Or they have already done
it at school. Often times it's a good
excuse for not doing homework, or for
covering up for skipping class. Either
way, it's one of the easiest to check
out by talking with the teacher. Which
parents need to be doing anyway.
4)
The teacher doesn't like me
Maybe so.
This is usually just a handy excuse for
bad grades or getting in trouble. Either
way, it's the kid's job to find a way to
make it work, even if the teacher
doesn't like them. It's simply practice
for the real world, where not everyone
is going to like you; sometimes even
bosses or co-workers. The interesting
thing about this one is the teens
solution to the problem. It goes
something like this - "Well, the teacher
doesn't like me, so I'll show them by
flunking the class." And who is this
hurting?
5)
Of course there will be parents at the
party
The answer
to this one is, "If that's true, then
you certainly won't mind me calling up
your friend's parents to see if there is
anything I can do to help."
6)
Everyone else gets to do it, so why
can't I?
Another
popular one designed to make parents
feel guilty and old fashioned, so they
will give in to something they think is
wrong. My mother had a wonderfully
confusing answer to this one; "If
everyone else stood on their head in the
middle of the street at three in the
morning in their underwear, would you?"
Probably would have.
7)
Everyone drinks and smokes. There's not
a single person my age who doesn't.
Many, many
teenagers
do. But not each and every one. I know
of plenty who do not and have a very
good time with what they do. Another one
designed to get parents to tolerate
behavior they don't like.
8)
If you let me off just this once, I'll
promise I'll never do it again.
Another one
parents want so badly to believe.
Unfortunately, what the teenager usually
learns here is that the parent really
doesn't mean it about consequences.
While in some ways it might be easier to
let them off the hook, it teaches very
little about the real world.
9
&
10)
Give me one good reason why I can't do
that!
This one
gets two places because it is so common
and so important. The crucial part not
to believe here is that they are really
asking for a legitimate answer to the
question. After giving a well reasoned
adult answer, here is something you will
not hear from your teenager, "Well,
thank you for explaining it that way to
me folks! And now that you have, not
only do I no longer what to do that, I'm
embarrassed and ashamed for asking.
Please forgive me and good night." If
your teen ever says this, call me
quickly, something is really wrong!